Continue with the worksheet called Not So Scary 15 Minute Solution of Step 10 . We have covered tips for the first 5 questions in Election Reaction and 15 Minute Solution and Tips For Healing Part 1, Tips For Healing Part 2, and Tips For Healing Part 3.
Question 6: In light of the truth, which person should I discuss this with right now? (sponsor, trusted friend, spiritual mentor, or person I offended) Instead of comfortably blaming someone else for my emotional upset, I now see that my own expectations and emotional baggage made the issue inevitable. Owning my own responsibility frees me from the pain and releases them from the captive hole in my head where they are the scapegoat for my issues. I can hardly continue to blame others when I see this truth.
If I just sit with this knowledge and refuse to share it with anyone else, then I’m more likely to remain partially self-deluded. For some reason telling another person solidifies the truth and frees me from even more emotional pain. The person you share with may encourage more insights and probably has experienced something similar.
This is not like gossiping about someone else’s behavior or rehashing the wrongs I’ve suffered. It’s admitting my own weaknesses and accepting my part in creating and perpetuating issues which then causes me more pain and triggers me to retaliate or compensate.
If this is a new process for you, please don’t attempt to go to the offended party before discussing your perspective with a neutral and supportive person. Don’t forget this is a Step 10 worksheet, which means if you want maximum insight, you should go back to Step 1 and give the whole process a fair shot.
Question 6: If I hurt anyone, I can make an amends quickly. (Write out a sentence to use for that. Stick to this sentence and don’t talk about anything they did.) For a detailed explanation read Step 8: Amends Preparation Part 1
This has been as brief as I could manage. Keep in mind that frequent use of this 10th Step worksheet will result in the ability to do the exercise in less than 5 minutes. Sometimes you won’t even need to write it out. You will just look for your part and as soon as your head can identify it your self-protective instincts will back off and you’ll stop feeling so much hurt or anxiety. As I said in the introductory post, if the problem lies with us, there’s ultimate hope and if it lies with someone else, then get ready for despair. Fortunately, we can usually find our part rather easily and emotional freedom is just a few minutes away!