The work that we’re doing on this last part of the 4th Step Inventory comes from the Alcoholics Anonymous textbook. Before going any further, read page 68, paragraph 4 to page 69, paragraph 2. You will find that the object of this work is clear.
“We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.”
The goal of this hard work is not to ‘unload’ everything. We could just journal for that, or go to a counselor, or talk about it in the locker room. No. The goal is to become healthier, to open ourselves to a better relationship with God and others.
Some participants separate the sexual harms list from other harms. It’s your inventory. Most of us find that we can benefit from just listing whatever comes to mind without regard to sorting it all out. Again, git’r done. Perfection is an illusion, not the goal.
Assignment 2: finish columns 3, 4 and 5, taking them one at a time and go to the end of each before starting the next column.
Column 4 Prompts:
- Having sex at the wrong time, wrong place or with the wrong person
- Ignoring reality: denial, fantasy, avoidance and escaping
- Using sex (or your feminine or masculine powers) to build self-esteem, ease loneliness, get even
- Trying to: force my solutions, feel better, establish control
What I’ve found is that the less garbage I carry around from my past, the better my life gets. Call it intuition, God’s whispering, promptings from the Sunlight of the Spirit… whatever you label it, the line of communication is opened in direct proportion.
Once the 3 inventories are finished, you’re ready for Step 5. Congratulations!