Assignment Day 6: In column 4, list your actions or reactions associated with column 2.
We’re looking for the responses that we’re not proud of. What’s the defensive behavior we fall back on- anger, criticism, or even withdrawing? What was our habitual attitude in this relationship before the ‘big event’ listed in the second column.
It might be what we did after the ‘event’ or it might be something we were doing before the event that actually triggered it. Caution: don’t ignore expectations. Oftentimes our assumptions and expectations set a problem into motion.
Once I filled in column 4, I found that I have an arsenal of weapons: verbal attack, non-verbal hostility, deadly retorts, obvious disdain and chilly disregard, clever sniping, criticism, and rants.
If those don’t work, we have more in the warehouse: escapism, avoidance, behind the back attack and social media comments of thinly veiled anger.
Examine what behavior you exhibited for each event from Column 2, and then list those behaviors in Column 4. In other words, what did you do?
You’re almost done with the Step 4 Not So Scary Resentment Inventory. If you need more copies, click on it, or go to the bottom of any post and find it in the worksheet list. If you’d like someone to bounce ideas off, use the contact form also found below. I love this inventory. It works!