Let’s compare the Angry Blue Bird to the negative personality. The Blue Bird is capable of scatter-shot attacks. Tapping this bird during its trajectory, splits it into three. This allows the bird to attack from more than one angle which is typical of the negative person.
The characteristics are a combination of: argumentative, evasive, lazy, grumbling, procrastinating and whining. They are quick to don the victim role and ask you to understand how super-sensitive they are. (Code for: none of this is my fault, nor should I be expected to make any changes.)
For Angry Birds like the Blue Bird, there are several communication strategies to choose from. I’m going to share what has worked for me and I’m writing in context of talking to an angry addict or an angry Al-Anon.
Negativity is the most contagious social disease. I wish there were an inoculation for it. Keeping in mind that we can change no one but ourselves, the following strategies are logical:
- Refuse to ride the same rut—expect them to be negative, but refuse to go there with them.
- Don’t chase them/don’t give up—resist either campaigning for change or writing them off.
- Clarify responsibilities—it helps, if you’re sponsoring them, to have them make lists
- Use your energy wisely—they naturally have your attention because negative is irritating. Stop.
Summarizing the strategies: minimize the impact they have on you. Are there people in your life that are giving you positive energy? Learn to gravitate there. It takes practice to stop focusing on the negativity around us.
Our life blood could never sustain a negative, angry person. Eventually, we have to face that, or they suck us dry.
When those Angry Blue Birds explode into your day, are you prepared? How many of the following are you doing?
- Regular attendance in support groups that are positive and uplifting.
- Develop a call list of support people
- Read spiritually encouraging material.
- Arrange for a sponsor or mentor.
- Work the steps.
- Give your time, energy and talents to those who want a genuine relationship, not those that suck the life blood from you.
Surround yourself with people who are invested in changing their lives for the better. Living in the solution, not the problem takes practice. It takes working the program, by which I mean doing The Steps.
As we have seen, self-searching is the means by which we bring new vision, action, and grace to bear upon the dark and negative side of our natures. ~ Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, 2011 p 98